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Vivencias escritas de un abuelo para sus nietos

Capítulo XII

Efectivamente el 21 de abril de 1960 llegó nuestro tercer hijo y que como era hembra le pusimos por nombre Manuela en recuerdo a su abuelo paterno, la que tuvo una niñez perfecta y cargada de esplendor en todos los sentidos, continuando siéndolo de mayor, alegre, vivaz, sonriente y cariñosa en todos los campos habidos y por haber.

Ha tenido dos hijos Lourdes y Juan ambos nacidos en Córdoba a pesar de la distancia de su residencia por el empleo de Policía Nacional de su marido Juan. Nosotros sus padres en tiempos esporádicos visitamos sus domicilios en Barcelona y Parla (Madrid).

familia

Su esposo se hace sentir admirado por su familia ya que es una persona que lo daba todo por nada.

A finales del año 2001 Juan hizo mucho hincapié con nuestra hija para que tanto nosotros sus padres y su hermana Mari Cruz y familia decidiéramos pasar la navidades todos juntos en su casa de Parla
. No estábamos muy decidimos por la cuestión del viaje y por el movimiento de gente en esas fechas en las carreteras, pero al final aceptamos reunirnos en esos días tan señalados para todas las familias cristianas.

Pasamos todos juntos unas navidades, año nuevo como el Santo de nuestra hija Manoli inolvidables, supuesto que eran ya bastantes años que por unos motivos u otros no podíamos hacerlo.

Pasados unos días del mes de enero del me s de enero nos comunicó nuestra hija Manoli que Juan estaba algo malusquillo con algunas décimas de fiebre sin saber lo que pudiera ser, pasaban los días y los médicos no entendían que pudiera ser hasta que unas pruebas médicas le diagnosticaron padecía de “cáncer de colon”, esa enfermedad que tanto maldigo por el daño que en la familia nos ha causado.

Estuvo periodos algo mejor y otros bastante mal, él mismo se compadecía de lo que estaba atravesando con esa enfermedad que poco a poco se lo estaba llevando, se le observaba una frustrante lucha desesperada por querer salir de ese momento crítico y decisivo, que no es mas que una etapa de sufrimiento y de depresión ligada al rompimiento de su corazón. Permaneció varias veces ingresado en el Hospital de Monte Príncipe de Madrid.

El 21 de julio de ese mismo año cuando el día amaneció con el sol brillante en el horizonte, Juan como queriendo buscar a su alrededor algo en que agarrarse encontró las manos dulces de su esposa Manoli y como no también la de su hija Lourdes que se hallaban a su lado y así muy tranquilo y dulcemente como las manos de su esposa e hija espiró , allí se encontraban sus familiares, compañeros y amigos diciendo: ¿Por qué, te lo has llevado Señor?…¡ si era un esposo, un padre, un compañero y un amigo de los amigos!.. Señor ese Sol brillante que amaneció este día, lo has empañado con lágrimas de dolor de una madre y dos hijos! ¿Por qué Señor?… ¡han perdido a ese hombre lleno de esperanza,amor y muchísimo cariño!
No sabía si escribir estas letras, ya que también soy uno de los afectados a esas lágrimas dolorosas, pero pensándolo bien era pues el momento de utilizar lo que había aprendido en mi educación escolar y que llevaba años sin usar, la decisión ha llegado ami de la mano del viento que acarició mi espíritu como un beso… ¡ sí , había llegado la clave que buscaba con mucho ahínco!: compraría un paquete de folios y escribiría en ellos tantas
cosas como quisiera hasta construir mis propios memoriales de inocencia, mis propios libros de dolor, amor y rabia que siento por quedar mi alma sin esos seres inocentes y precisos para sus familiares .Por último ya me quedo sin lágrimas porque mi alma está inundada.
He notado como el dolor como si se tratara de un miedo me persigue desde hace tiempo, va tras de mí, se que sigue mis pasos pudiendo ver su sombra, he pasado muchos días intentando despistarle, pero no, me sigue y me sigue a todos lados…¡He hecho un pacto con él!, ya no me espera detrás de cada esquina, así que no temo llorar si me alcanzara, se que después de mis lágrimas siempre llega una sonrisa y hasta ahora es mi mejor arma contra él, intento saber que ese miedo no está tras de mí, por las noches estirado en mi cama entre la soledad y el silencio lo espero, a veces viene y me hace llorar, otras noches no lo consigue pero lo siento dentro de mí apretando mi cuerpo como queriéndome decir: que es “ el miedo y la inquietud “y contestándole desde mi corazón yo le digo:” :no vas a poder con migo, te estás quedando solo, todos están de mi parte, vuelve a tu rincón entre los recuerdos y el olvido…
Continuará

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